The thing they don’t tell you when they say ‘eat less, move more’ is that when you’re a certain size, it’s not just about either of those things. You see, it’s not about cutting down your pizza consumption from three days a week to two, and it’s not moving the crisps to a once-a-day thing either. It’s about cutting whatever green leaf salad you’re forcing yourself to eat down to miniscule proportions and pretending that you’re actually feeling full.
Only someone entirely delusional can manage to do that, so it’s a good job that I’m an Aquarian. Today is day one of my eat-less effort, and already the dog next door is looking as if he’d be quite tasty, barbecued with a tomato relish. Are my Asian roots showing?
You’d be surprised what constitutes 5,000 kilojoules (the recommended daily limit for a woman trying to lose weight). A small bowl of pasta takes you over the halfway mark. The average breakfast (nothing fancy, just a bowl of cereal) takes you a fifth of the way there. You’re thinking twice about that banana, aren’t you!
The simple fact of the matter is that no sane person cuts their calories to this level and remains happy. So here I am, grumpily googling recipes I’ll never be able to eat and counting down the seconds until dinnertime.